I never new I spoke to myself so much, only I know my true feelings what’s going on but for now let’s recap.
First off a big thankyou too all my business friends for there kind words much appreciated.
So I can’t drive Canibis oil.
Given up red meat and drinking why bit late!
Been feeling numb waiting for a reaction.
It seems that if I eat little and often I’m not so tired but yesterday after a nice meal my body went into overdrive it’s as though all my energy is put in to digesting my meal strange.
For the rest of the week see how it goes listen to my body relax which is hard for me.
Need to work out a plan my next chemo is next Wednesday a long time, my mind needs to works.
Like normal I said I have an answer for that a hat.
A hat peaky blinders without the razor blades.
Blue beat hat yes maybe google it.
Pork pie hat mmm
What do you think!
So today lot of nice wishes, but let’s describe last night, pumped full of chemo blood thinning tablet and steroids and my mate CBT oil plus an emergency flying nurse on call for me.
Just wanted to say no I couldn’t sleep, your mind plays games with you, no sickness tablets for me really what about the sickness projectile vomit,
I am please to say I survived the night got to sleep at 7am woke up a 11am.
In the words of James Brown I fill good.
It’s strange each day is a lesson listen to your body, Kim what you think is right.
Kim’s sister George can you stay today nice.
Paul Rubin’s visited plus we went out to costa today so it’s been nice.
Hammers played stoneham tonight drew 2-2 after being 2-0 up,, but we didn’t loose.
Hopefully will have a good night sleep tonight, presently laying in bed writing this.
Music tonight Heat Wave -mind Blowing decisions.
Thought for the night-If you don’t first succeed never give up.
don’t for get what hat I should bye.
Night night kim James mum and my darling weesa 🥰😘❤️
Monday morning wake around 8.30 do a little work in the office.
The not knowing what was next was the killer for me , haven’t a clue didn’t study for this but like everything in life you prepare for the worst and expect nothing.
The morning started when the nurses called me at home to check all was well and that I was coming in and felt well.
The reason is that the chemo being prepared for me today was very expensive so if it was prepared and not used it would be thrown away.
Reality sets in know this is getting serious.
Arrived at the hospital an hour early to see if we could get in earlier.
Sure enough we did went to my room took my coat off and sat in not just any chair but a bloody comfortable chair. This was to be my home for the next few hours.
So what is chemo well i had no clue, this is what i thought you spent hours in radio therapy being bombarded with rays at specific parts, was I wrong so here’s my day.
So first up anti sickness tables and steroids.
Next fit the cannula in my hand so to connect the drip,then a complete saline flush.
I was to have two types of drugs each bag had to be covered by a black cover as it doesn’t like the sun.
The first drug arrived about 12 noon it was like a creamy solution being pumped through my veins this took 15 minutes not problem as my weesa arrived from London for moral support.
Then the flushing again with saline solution this took about 15 minuets. In between this I had a cup of tea gallons of water they like you to drink water. ordered dinner cauliflower cheese really.
Then embarked on the final drug again about 16 minuets.
So picture this I’m sat in a cosy chair kim and weesa opposite me nurses running round after me what could be better.
Joking aside day one done back Wednesday week for another coarse.
NHS ladies thankyou for being kind and compassionate ❤️
Tonight I have taken steroids and blood thing pills, tonight is to come no sickness at the moment but have the flying nurses tel number if I need help.
thanks to my family and the hammers family couldn’t do this without your support❤️
I love this photo.
Music Amy Winehouse Love is just a loosing game.Amy at her best.
Thought for the day when confronted with a problem sleep on it always seems better in the morning.
Finally up the hammers for tomorrow night need to keep warm.
Went and gave blood this morning the results said my calcium levels had come down so good to go for chemo on Monday.
Funny story whilst having my bloods taken chatting away with the nurse I found myself drifting off “that cannabis oil is good”so much so I was convinced she had already taken my blood so I thought off I go, where you going with that I snapped back into reality.
So last night I started my cbd oil dosage never taken drugs before,so I was a bit apprehensive
A square of rice paper with a touch of oil washed down with a glass of water.well got into bed and I don’t remember anything until about 6am boy I was gone.
Out of 10/11 never slept like that before.
Thursday got up took my next dosage of oil, that morning I had a meeting with my financial advisor 10.30, well the room started moving round I felt like I was bill and Ben on strings.
With the help from kim we made the meeting first thing I needed was water throat went bone dry , every time one of us spoke 2 minutes later I had forgotten what i said I was totally f….cked.
Made it home been sat down ever since until now no pains interesting day 8/10
Just about to take the next dosage apparently I should get use to it.🤞
Not a lot else to report but tomorrow bloods 9.30am home phone back and get results if ok days mine if not back in hospital for more fluids.
Big shout out for the NHS they have been excellent.
Thought for the day “if you don’t think your any good no one else will” May Rochford my Nan.
Music after today it’s got to be Psychedelic Shack by the Temptations.
Night to all my friends and family ❤️ especially Kim.💕
Well those of you who know me know that I know the words of this film off by heart.
Produced by Ridley Scott and stared Russell Crow, Marion Cotillard, and of coarse Albert Finney. All my hammers family will know that i went though a stage of only playing Edmundo Ross music over the speakers at the club this was played a lot in the film,bit of a change from Stormzy.
Anyway today has been a 6 out of 10 day.
Slept ok ish the treatment I had yesterday made me get up about 4 times during the night for a pee I suppose all that fluid had to come out sometime lol.
A have a pain in my side that seems to want to annoy me today took paracetamol didn’t work.
As we speak sat in a Cossy chair all’s good.
The house phone rang today it was my nurse asking if I would give permission for the flying nurses could visit me at home if needed, nice I thought and by the way we need you in early Friday for your bloods so that we can see if your calcium has lowered.
Me but what if it hasn’t, your need to come in and have more fluids so a possible 4 hour session.🙄
Had lots of visitors this afternoon sue bagley, mum,and now Dominika sweet.
Tomorrow I’m off to see Tony Davies my financial adviser to let him know my situation , Tony is a good friend, so it won’t be easy but I need to know that all the “I” ate dotted and T are ticked.
So we need a quote:
In the midst of chaos,there is also opportunity”
Now a tune:
Wishing on a star:Rose Royce 1978.
Bye bye good night sleep tight don’t let the ants bite.
A Good Year 